Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Nothing is set in stone.

SOO, I'm starting to learn that plans are constantly changing in the military. My boyfriend was supposed to get sworn in this passed Monday but the Navy hasn't sent some papers he needs so we had to cancel his appointment to MEPS. Not sure when he has to go back but I am a little excited they had to cancel because I wasn't going to be able to attend on Monday. (& it's something I would like to be there for) Since then, my boyfriend started to look into ROTC. We have a meeting on Friday to go speak with someone at our local college to see what that's all about. Seems like a good idea, to get a degree while your getting trained BUT you pretty much have to go active afterwards from what I understand..? I've been SO emotional lately... I think the root of it all is this constant uncertainty. I wish I just knew what to expect so I can begin to prepare for him to be gone, or know that he wont have to leave for a while & not have so much anxiety about it. My dad has instilled in me since I was a little girl that you should always have a plan...& if that falls through, have a second one to fall back on. I always had the hardest time getting two plans together & for the first time in my life I have like 398573 plans. Drew (my boyfriend) keeps telling me to just live day by day but that's way easier said then done, I want to know it's all going to be ok. Hopefully I'll know what's going on soon...maybe after we speak to the ROTC guy on Friday we'll have a better idea on the choice he wants to make so we can start to plan our life - together.

Dear Lord Give me the heart to see the difference between duty and his love for me. Give me understanding that I may know when duty calls he must go. Give me a task to do each day to fill the time when he is away. Lord, when he is in foreign land keep him safe in your loving hands. Lord when duty is in the field protect him and be his shield. Lord when deployment is long please stay with me and keep me strong...

NG Girlfriend,

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